air above water

I don't know if I ever posted this on the blog... it was from 9/28/10. I was pregnant with Glory, and thinking of Kathlyn, as always.

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underwater she breathes,

she blooms,

without light,

with sound, with love.



in transparent silhouettes

she is photographed,

bloming perfection, love

hopes, dreams.



light of heaven becomes her

not the light of earth as expected

gentle, comforting sounds and touches

love even more eternal than a mother's.



above water

i can't breathe.

with sunlight

i no longer bloom.

all i hear is the cries of

brokenhearted mothers

struggling to breathe

to walk

to understand

to be understood.



we failed

and we were failed.

succeeding only at loving our babies.



leaves turn

snow falls

cherries blossom

birds take flight.



i breathe,

a different air than before,

air above water,

air she never felt.



underwater

she breathed,

occupied the space

under my heart



with love.