Our Blessings

Monday, January 14, 2013

What to expect..

Spoiler Alert...

Earlier this evening I watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting".. John was half watching with me, but it's not really his kind of movie and he was busy doing other things.  But we had this conversation early in the movie.

Him: This is a movie all about pregnancy?
Me:  Yes, it's  "What to Expect When You're Expecting"..
Him: oh.  did we expect to lose our baby all the way at the end of the pregnancy?
Me:  No, we definitely didn't expect that.

So I was kind of trying to light-heartedly watch this movie without comparing my awful pregnancy loss history to it, like I always do, but there went that idea.  John doesn't often say things like that.  Only every once in awhile.  oh well.  So I guess I'll just have to be disappointed in this movie when everyone has a beautiful perfect pregnancy with no mention of baby loss, like most movies.

I was wrong.  Very sad.  But actually NOT disappointed.

The movie follows about 5 women on their pregnancy journeys.  Some married, some not.  They all have different situations except it's the first pregnancy for all of them.  I was actually impressed with the movie and how it explored lots of different things you can "expect" when pregnant and trying to conceive.  It explored one couple on an adoption journey and touched on difficulty with fertility as well.  I did not see it coming for one of the women to actually lose the baby. It definitely made me cry, but I was glad to see them tell that story, because it IS so common, and it IS something some women might have to expect or go through when they are pregnant.  They don't say how many weeks the loss is, but they kind of imply second trimester.  She was showing, but had an ultrasound before the loss where it wasn't quite time to tell the gender yet, which is usually about 20 weeks.  They also showed how it feels when you're having a difficult pregnancy, or difficulty getting pregnant, or have lost a baby, and have to watch as other women have seemily perfect, happy, and easy pregnancies.

I vaguely remember this movie getting bad reviews.  Not sure why.  It was nothing spectacular, but it was well rounded. I can say that I'm "glad" that baby died because it's not a real baby.  I would never want this to happen to anyone, but it does.  All the time.  It's nice to have someone to relate to, to know I'm not alone, but not have to be sad for them in return because it's not real.  And they could probably make a sequel "What the Expect the First Year" and it could be pretty cute, and give the bereaved their rainbow baby...  which I know is not reality either.  Not everyone gets that.  But that's usually how Hollywood works.. ties everything up in a nice little bow, with happy endings.  The real raw stuff, the real emotions, is left for only us, not often explored enough in the movies.

Unless you want to watch "The Other Woman".. with Natalie Portman or "Rabbit Hole" with Nicole Kidman.  Or even "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"... those movies all do an excellent job or showing true grief.... when you least expect it..

1 comment:

  1. I haven't seen the "What to Expect" movie for the reason that I thought it would be silly and stupid and not come close to my experience. I might have to try it now.

    I also loved all the movies you mentioned in the last paragraph. Rabbit Hole was amazing. The conversation Nicole Kidman has with her mother about 'the brick' totally nailed it. I also loved The Other Woman. Whenever Lisa Kudrow has a small part in an indie-type movie, you know it's going to be great. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close was one of my favourite movies of last year.