July 2, 2009, I was hospitalized for shortness of breath and decreased kicks. I was sent home because I could breathe better after a good meal and hydration. My 3 hour NST was perfectly normal. I was just fine. Kathlyn was just fine.
I wish she wasn’t. I wish they had seen 1 second of distress and taken me for an emergency c-section for my 35 and a half weeker. I wish today was Kathlyn’s birthday. I wish she was my little 4th of july weekend baby. She would be fine. She would be 1. She would be healthy. I would be taking her for granted. I would be counting the days until it was “the day she left the NICU” instead of “the day she died and was born.” We would be happy.
My precious little girl, what happened?
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Oh Beth. I wish it had happened differently too. It was all so close. x
ReplyDeleteI wish they could have seen something so that you didn't have to write these words today. :(
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